I haven’t updated on here in a while, but since my last update, I met a boy that turned out to be just as much of a douche as my friends told me he would be. I should probably start listening to my friends more often. As a result, I got angry and joined a dating website only to discover that the dating pool on there is more like a puddle.
I find it amazing how dependent society is on the Internet these days. Did you know that you can now reserve your groceries online? Pretty soon, I won’t have to leave my room. You can work from home, date from home, order food from home, pay your bills online, talk to your friends online, dial 911 online if need be, and I’m sure this list goes on. I don’t necessarily need human interaction at all as long as people continue to talk to me on here. That’s not completely true. I need it because I know what social interaction is. Future generations are the ones that won’t necessarily need it. It’s going to be very similar to the movie “Surrogates,” and let’s just hope Bruce Willis saves the day this time too.
Anyway, this online dating thing is really strange to me. I never thought that I would do it, and now that I have, I’m slightly disappointed. I thought it was going to be this great thing, and I was going to meet so many interesting men, and I have, but in the time that I’ve joined the website, I have met just as many interesting men in public places. Also, I thought it would be great to put all of this information about me and what I want into a profile, but it eliminates the mystery which is good and bad. Good because I’m not wasting my time with guys who aren’t right for me to begin with. Bad because I feel like I’m eliminating necessary steps and judging these poor guys based on a profile or a bad picture.
I suppose what I’m getting at is that the Internet is quite possibly evil. It is adding to this problem that people currently have with time. Nobody has any time anymore. We, as a society, are looking for convenience and anything that will shave a few minutes, hours, days, months, years off of tasks because we want results now. Listen, slow down. Enjoy life for what it is. Get off the computer tomorrow and have a real conversation with someone. Now, let’s see if I can follow my own advice.
I did this a couple of years ago… sometimes I forget how goofy/dorky I am.
I hate when a self help book makes me feel worse about myself than I did before I consulted it. Just let me be in denial.
Also, I love when I find a song that describes my mood perfectly, no matter how depressing it is.
Sad ideas have been flooding my brain today, and this in turn causes me to remember sadder things. The smallest objects trigger things from my childhood, and these are the things I blocked from my memory because I’m pretty sure they have contributed to issues with my self esteem and whatnot. When I look at a can of silly string for instance, I have a feeling of not being good enough. Don’t ask why. One instance caused the fun to be sucked from a child’s play thing. That was a dark time. Now, I can relate this to how I feel today because again, I don’t feel like I’m good enough. I will always feel second best, and I’m still looking for that moment where I’m not just another option. So, for now, I will sit back and listen to the music that reflects this mood so perfectly and wait for my moment.
Trying to create something that’s not there;
A spark I saw as a bomb is just a means to an end.
Banana Corn Dogs
Bananas coated in funnel cake batter, deep fried and covered in powdered sugar.
(submitted by Jason Lewis)
This sounds delicious and mildly interesting.
I wish I was brave enough to accomplish my goals. I’m torn between two career goals and both are going to require me to move to a city. My dream is to work in music management. I want to go back to school and get my Master’s in Entertainment Business, but at this point, I don’t want to drop another $30,000 on school. If I don’t do this, I want to be an event planner. I just can’t find an opening to either occupation though. This is frustrating.
I have been considering my options over the last few days. My lease is up on my apartment in less than 2 months, and as of now, the only place I have to go is back to my mom’s house. My mom is considering moving out, so it will just be my brother and I. This will be a blast because I will have a yard with a pond, and I may actually be able to get a dog. The only thing that saddens me is that I will be moving away from my friends, and I have a lot of friends where I am now. I don’t there. They are mostly my brother’s friends, and some of them are moving away soon as well. So what to do? I could find an apartment here with a 6 month lease and continue my job hunt, or I could move there, and be here every other weekend. I will be here a lot anyway because I’m keeping my job and commuting back and forth until I find one closer to home that is full time. This is frustrating.
I have also begun to think of this place as my home, which is scary. I have been here for the last 5 years, so I guess it is expected. I just never wanted to settle here. What is home anyway? Is it the place I grew up with my family? Or is it here with my friends, where I have created fantastic memories over the past few years? OAR said it best with “I Feel Home:”
I feel home,
when I see the faces that remember my own
I feel home,
when I’m chilling outside with the people I know.
I feel home,
and that’s just what I feel.
Home to me is reality,
and all I need something real
Home to me is reality,
and all I need something real